Conversation with the Doctor
by FurryCuddles37
Summary: Just a one-shot of what I would want to say to the Doctor if I was one of his companions. Was on in my cloud for forever and I have finally put it out there for you. Takes place after Amy and Rory but before 12.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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There he was, under the console again. I had grabbed a Harry Potter book from the library and decided to join him. I sat down in the only chair in the control room and got comfortable.

He rolled out from under the console to look at me, but just smiled and went back to work when I winked at him. He knew better that to do his stupid sciency-time-lord talk while I was reading. After a few chapters I spoke.

"It's not your fault you know."

The Doctor stopped. I must have surprised him. Perhaps he had forgotten I was still there. After only two seconds though he started back up again with his wrench.

"What's not my fault?" he asked, trying to seem blasé about it,

"What happens to some of your companions," I answer. He stops again, and this time after his pause he rolls out from under the console and sits on the creeper, his eyes searching mine.

"What makes you think, that _I_ think it's _my_ fault?" he stresses.

I simply raise my eyebrow that time and turn back to my book. "I know why you like Harry Potter," I seemingly change the topic.

"Old J.K. and I are good friends, her kids are sweet too," he grins, apparently going with the flow. Perhaps he was glad that I had left the conversation for safer waters.

"You're just like him," I conclude.

"J. K. Rowling is a women," he corrects.

"Not her-Harry. You're just like him," I answer.

This time he raises an eyebrow with a slight smile on his face, but I couldn't tell if it was real or not.

"You just want to have a fun adventurous life exploring the wonders of the universe, or in Harry's case the wizarding world, and can't help yourself from saving it."

He gave a grim smile and began to open his mouth.

"And you're full of yourself and feel that every loss is your fault and make yourself feel bad, wallowing in self-pity," I finish. I prepared myself.

"Now, wait a minute," he snapped, frowning at me. He got up and started to pace. "What makes you think I do any of that? I _have_ lost a lot. You have no idea what I've lost. I am so old-"

"So naturally you are going to lose people," I cut off.

He huffed.

"Just let me make my point and they you can counter the argument all you want," I persuaded.

He just leaned against the railing, getting comfortable, indicating that he was ready to listen. From the expression on his face he wasn't happy about it, but had decided that he would humor me.

"You say that when you offer all of time and space to someone it's like offering a trunk of candy for a kid and that they will grab it with both hands."

He nods.

"You mean humans when you say that, but you grab time and space with two hands too. There is nothing wrong with that and there is nothing childish about it. Don't think that just because Time Lords are older and more scientifically advanced that they are in any way superior to humans!"

"Hey! One," he said lifting a finger, "I never said that. Two," he said lifting another", you sound just like Donna."

"Good, she was one of the few people who could talk sense to you," I groused. "You _are_ assuming that, because you believe that we are like children who don't know what's good or bad for us."

He frowned and bit his lip.

"Everybody dies, I think that as humans we know that even better than you do as a Time Lord. We know going in, or at least after our first adventure that this stuff is dangerous. Heck if you were a human you would be dead 13 times over, probably more considering some of the things you do that could kill a human such as jumping down 200 feet. But the thing is that life itself is dangerous. We could die crossing the street or eating a snack. Don't you think that since we're going to die sometime that we would prefer that likelihood that we would die doing something or experiencing something amazing?"

"You shouldn't have to die," he pleads, "I should be able to protect you. I know bringing you in that I'm going to lose you at some point, yet still I do it!"

"Of course were going to leave you as some point!" I yell. "Sadly that _is_ the 'curse of the Time Lords'. But in no way should you believe that it is solely your fault. We humans usually live into our 70s and 80s and we experience loss. How much more will you, with your centuries-long-life, experience that same kind of lose? Some people use to say to me that I didn't mourn like I should just because I would only mourn for a certain amount of time and then I would get on with my life. I knew that the people I loved were gone. I knew that, and I also knew what there was nothing that I could do about it. Why should I waste energy feeling bad about it when there was so much good still?"

I stopped for a moment to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. He let me and kept quiet. I didn't know if he was being nice or knew that if he interrupted me that I would most likely bite his head off.

"I'm going to quote _you_ now. You said to Amy 'life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things,"

"Or make them unimportant," he finishes with me.

I smile at him. The Doctor, the man who had lost so much.

"You know, you've got all of time and space at your fingertips."

The Doctor just stared at me a tad confused.

"You may not be able to see them again. And they may have died, but aren't we all dead at some point in time?" I question. His face seems to open up a bit, understanding where I was going with this.

"By that conclusion, we are also all alive at some point in time," I finished grinning, "It may still hurt, but it helps."


End file.
